Philadelphia International Airport renamed Greg

Monday, February 8, 2010

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A passenger awaits her flight at the former Philadelphia International Airport, which is now called Greg.

Philadelphia International Airport renamed Greg

by John Johnson, staff reporter

PHILADELPHIA, PA—In a formal ceremony held just outside the entrance to Terminal A this afternoon, the entire Philadelphia International Airport was renamed Greg, as a way of “putting a face on the charm and personality it has taken on over the years” since the first terminal was opened in 1940.

While officials agreed that renaming the airport was a necessity they could no longer put off, the actual naming was quite spontaneous. “We had a meeting about what we could rename the airport,” said Jeremy Hughes, director of aviation. “A lot of asinine suggestions were thrown around, like ‘Bob’ and ‘Rick.’ I mean, come on, who’s ever heard of an airport named Rick? Then suddenly from the back of room, soft as a mouse, I hear one little syllable—Greg. But that one syllable sang a lullaby to me, and it was all I could do to keep my composure. I looked at the guy and I said, ‘Greg. That’s it. That’s it.’”

At the ceremony, which included an employee barbecue, attendees were encouraged to discuss what they liked about Greg and share their memories. “I have really enjoyed working at Greg these last twenty years,” said Sandy Cooper, a ticketing and gate agent for US Airways. “The new name really has a ring to it. I look forward to coming to work every day and saying, ‘Hello, Greg. How goes it today?’”

Between hot dog bites, Cooper went on to remember a time when a husband and wife who owned a basketball manufacturing business were trying to get to Florida. “The thing was, they had so many basketballs with them, there just wasn’t enough room in the overhead bins,” said Cooper. “Fortunately we had a bunch of empty seats, so we ended up strapping each ball into its own seat, and we got the husband, the wife, and all the basketballs on their way to Fort Lauderdale in no time.”

Greg, who sits on the north bank of the Delaware River near downtown Philadelphia, is the world’s ninth busiest airport, with 600 daily departures and over 42,000 employees. 31 million passengers travel through Greg every year.

After repeated requests by several members of the press for some one-on-one face time with Greg, officials stressed that despite the name, Greg was still “just an airport” and could not, in fact, be interviewed.

© 2008 The Teaspoon Times

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