Dollar getting weaker against the coffee, analysts say

Thursday, March 11, 2010

Home News Advice Blog About Contact Subscribe (Free) Writing Contest!

One of many locations where millions of Americans convert dollars into coffees every single day.

Dollar getting weaker against the coffee, analysts say

by John Johnson, staff reporter

NEW YORK, NY—According to Wall Street analysts, the U.S. dollar (USD) fell another two percent yesterday and is nearing an all-time low against the coffee (C), the international currency available in denominations of cappuccinos, caramel macchiatos, and nonfat double espresso half-caf mocha lattes. At press time, the exchange rate was 4.78 USD to 1C.

The coffee, which has for years been injected into the U.S. economy in large quantities for everything from stimulating corporate productivity to sweetening business deals, has been referred to by some as “my second brain,” “molasses of Moses,” and “the dark nectar that courses through my very soul.”

It is estimated that 130 million Americans trade dollars for coffees at their local exchange houses every day, an activity that is sure to keep the coffee bubble expanding. “I convert dollars into coffees every morning,” said one office worker. “Used to be able to trade straight up, one for one. Now whenever I convert, it’s more like four or five dollars to the coffee.”

Despite the weak exchange rate, many Americans are thinking strictly in terms of coffees, not dollars. Manhattan resident Jason Johannes puts it this way: “I usually spend at least 1C just to cut through my morning haze. And almost 2.50C before I even talk to anybody. And if I have a meeting, forget about it--it’ll easily be 4C when all is said and done.”

For those on the other side of the table, the coffee-to-dollar conversion rate is quite favorable. “The coffee is very strong right now,” said Ben Hurst, president of the National Bean Farmers Association. “Almost too strong. Fortunately, cream and sugar are keeping it in check.” It was not immediately clear whether Hurst was referring to the complex, often volatile market relationship between the coffee and the dairy and sugar cane industries or to the beverage he was consuming at the time. One thing is certain, however: economic trouble is brewing.

Analysts have been quick to point out that at this rate, coffees might end up on the black market before long, or even worse, the dollar could slip so far that coffees will only be available through high-volume brokerage houses such as the Starbucks Corporation (SBUX). In three to five years, they warn, the coffee could be classified as a “major investment.”

© 2008 The Teaspoon Times

SHARE