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This Just In

STOUT STILL SPURNING TRASH DUTY

SCHENECTADY, NY -- Upstate resident Sarah Cynthia Sylvia Stout, who gained infamy over three decades ago when she would not take the garbage out, said in an interview today that no amount of parental or familial pressure would cause her to compromise her position and empty the kitchen rubbish bin.

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Intricate scientific joke actually quite funny

FARGO, ND—An extremely elaborate joke involving aspects of particle physics, branches of microbiology, certain elements of world history and macroeconomics—even a dash of gastronomy—was told yesterday by Fargo resident Jeanette Wilcox to friend and colleague Sarah Ponson at a coffee shop near the office in which they both work....
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