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| TEXAS DIES IN FIERY CAR CRASH AT 162 KENNEBUNK, ME -- The state of Texas was killed yesterday in a multi-car pileup along I-95 near Kennebunk, when his car plowed straight into a concrete overpass support and burst into flames after he attempted to swerve around an existing pileup. Paramedics tried unsuccessfully to revive the state, and he died at the scene. Texas was 162. Read more... Seattle removes its 'slide to hell'SEATTLE, WASHINGTON-- The city of Seattle yesterday removed a playground slide at Alki Beach Park, one of the city’s largest parks, citing hundreds of reports over the last year of children mysteriously vanishing while using the slide. Although the details of each incident are unknown, eyewitness accounts have led investigators to believe ... WASHINGTON, D.C. -- A recent study has found that dead people, especially those who have been expired for over a year, are not paying as much in federal income tax as their living counterparts. The study, which was conducted by the National Tax Institute and released yesterday, used U.S. taxpayer data from 1982 to the present to determine that t...
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 Photograph of dirty sock no longer contains sock  Woman receives rejection letter from herself  Construction crew constructing absolutely nothing IN OTHER NEWS  Stout still spurning trash duty  FedEx package excited about trip to Europe  Dear Glen: My husband slobbers his gum |
