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KENNEBUNK, ME -- The state of Texas was killed yesterday in a multi-car pileup along I-95 near Kennebunk, when his car plowed straight into a concrete overpass support and burst into flames after he attempted to swerve around an existing pileup. Paramedics tried unsuccessfully to revive the state, and he died at the scene. Texas was 162.

I must admit I actually like going to the grocery store. Yet there’s one part of the whole experience I dread. The part when I’m finished checking out and the cashier hands me my receipt along with a mile-long strand of the most pointless, good-for-nothing coupons in existence, generated by that infernal, unholy machine that sits nex...
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